Mam clingy

You feeling bad? What about your mother’s feelings? Equating your mom’s attention and love to being clingy is unfortunate. The first rule towards becoming physically independent is to become emotionally independent, stable and mature. And stabilit... A clingy boyfriend is someone who calls to much, texts too much and wants to spend too much time together. You can not spend all of your time with your partner. Women hate clingy men. It makes him look too needy. It’s weird. She will start thinking he is psycho. You being the lovable person that you are, eventually, you will attract someone ... Clingy guys can sometimes be very dangerous. One thing guys don’t really have to worry about with clingy girls is how dangerous they are. Because they very rarely do anything besides blow up their phone. Clingy guys, on the other hand, can get scary because you never know how far they’ll go to get close to you. Same as guys who don’t like clingy women, we don’t like clingy men. Knowing what to look for in their behavior can help you to avoid them before things get messy. And trust me, they can really get messy. Clingy men, in the beginning, seem really cute and attentive, but with time it becomes annoying. The clingy one is the crazy one, the paranoid one, the one who just loves wayyy more than the other person does. via GIPHY. But being clingy has a lot of other definitions too. Not only is he emotionally clingy, but he’s physically clingy. He needs to be touching you at all times, whether it’s in public, on the couch while you watch a movie, or while you’re trying to get some sleep. Don’t expect him to roll over after a few minutes either — he’s going to be strangle cuddling you all night long. As you will discover from the video above, a woman will usually go through 3 stages before she decides to break up with a guy. Being clingy will ruin a woman’s respect for a guy and if he keeps doing it, she will stop feeling attracted to him (remember: Women are attracted to the emotional strength of men and turned off by the weakness) and will gradually begin to fall out of love with him. Being BFF with your mom is a dream come true. It's nice to know that you can go to her with any problem without feeling judged. However, if she constantly pressures you to hang out with her or ... The clingy behaviour has gotten worse instead of getting better with time. Now that I am 23 and so much time has passed I keep wondering 'Will she still be treating me like this when I'm in my 30s?' It's making me be more distant from her then I ever was because of how badly she is clinging to me. I have been putting off flying back and ... Clingy children will feel more secure and independent if they know that their parents are there for them. Make sure to spend time with your child every day, free of distractions — no TV, phone, or other electronics. Listen to your child, and offer him 100% of your attention.

How do I proceed with my relationship?

2020.08.13 20:34 Xylamyla How do I proceed with my relationship?

Background:
I’ve been with my boyfriend for almost a year. We’re both males in our early 20s. Recently, he’s moved across the country for school. I’m planning on moving there as well when I finish my own schooling.
We’ve always been a long distance relationship, but I was still able to see him on the weekends since he was about a 2hr drive away. We’ve had our ups and downs. I’m historically more clingy, and he’s the opposite. But I’ve been able to work on that (painful process) and I don’t consider myself to be clingy anymore.
Before he moved, we would talk for about 3hrs a day, split up between morning and night. On weekends, I would come stay at his place.
The conflict:
Ever since he moved (one week ago), we’ve talked less. Understandable. He’s currently living with family until he gets his own apartment, which should happen in the next couple of weeks. Regardless, I’ve missed him quite a bit, especially knowing that it will be awhile before I see him again.
The other day, I was noticeably sad. We don’t talk as much as we did when he lived here, and he’s not here for me to visit, so of course I miss the mam a lot and it’s hard adjusting. However, upon telling him this, he was very distant. I hinted a lot that I just wanted some comfort, and even got to the point where I had to flat out say that I want comfort from my boyfriend. But he still hardly talked to me.
I’ll just summarize the conversations we’ve had since. Basically, he feels uncomfortable when I’m sad and doesn’t like to talk to me. He also feels overwhelmed with the love I give him (like saying sweet things). He told me that while I think about the future with him and want to one day marry him, he just thinks of me as a boyfriend. He’s not looking to find a future husband right now. I’m just someone fun to spend time with and talk to.
These things hurt me quite a bit. He wasn’t like this when he was living here, and I’m not doing anything different now than I did then. If anything, he’s only like this when he’s far away from me. It feels like I mean less to him the further apart we are.
I’m not sure how to proceed. I still want to be in a relationship with him. He is an amazing guy and overall makes my life very very happy. We don’t fight often and connect very well with each other. And talking with him is one of my most favorite things to do. So I’m thinking I’ll just work on being less lovey-dovey to him. It may be hard for me, but I can’t think of any other option if I want to progress our relationship.
I appreciate any thoughts you guys have on how I should proceed.
submitted by Xylamyla to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2020.06.18 20:01 AnonHB_guy Girlfriend Needs a Few days to think about getting back together

Hey all, First time doing something like this, but basically.. Me and my idk what to say to address her because we're technically not together right now so we'll say a random name like Tiss. So me and Tiss have been dating near 5 months. But been talking for longer, we got along well and everything was fine with seeing each other, I was in college when I met her and we lived near each other then but now we live like 2 hr bus journey away, all was fine then Covid-19 came and due to restrictions I didn't see her for 3 months nearly. When I finally went down and met her it was a good time but she complained to me I was a bit too " clingy " and I guess that is true in some sense as I was excited to see her and I should've respected her space, may I mention when I went down for them 5 days after not seeing her for so long, her nanny was sick and passed away the day after I left. I apologized for the clinginess and she accepted the apology. Few days go by, the funeral and stuff happens and I gave her, her alone time that she needed but I always checked up on her every few hours. She started to come back to her regular self and maybe 5 days later she asked me to go visit her again. I agreed but I did ask her to come to me as I wanted her to meet my parents but she couldn't as was babysitting her younger siblings. So i go up anyways and when I was there I found it hard to talk to her a little bit, and I knew something was up, I went on during the week and one night me and her friends were drinking and I felt sick and tired so I went upstairs to rest ( Without saying anything ) and that was a fault, I should've clarified why I was leaving. But she same up after a while and I told her I was tired. Never said I felt sick. She said ok and I stayed upstairs for the remainder of the night and she finally goes to bed. She was upset at me because I never went back down and I explained to her I was sick and was tired but she didn't believe me and said it was something else which it wasn't. I love the girl so much.. and they way I was acting when I was down there was not me. I was overthinking everything, I was finding making conversations hard with anyone because I wanted to be on the good side off ppl. Anyways 5 days later ( so the previous Monday this week) I walk to the bus station and when I arrive I have text saying how she felt we weren't compatible and stuff and I tried talking to her but she had her mind set. I was a mess for the remainder of the day, crying and crying. The next day she texted me on Snapchat asking why did I remove all her friends and family on Fb and I told her it was nothing bad against them and I did it for my mental sake so I'd see no posts about her. She understood and I asked her did she tell them and she said she did and I explained to her how it was hard and how the person I was when I went up wasn't me and she agreed, she said her phone is quiet and she doesn't know what to do with herself. She agreed I wasnt that guy. She said I was being childish and everytime she tried talking to me it felt like I was making a joke of her and laugh. Which isn't true so I explained myself further. Long story short she asked what did my mam say and all that because she'd like to know what she said and I told her and I asked her the same question. And she she answered then after a bit she said to me, she needs a few days to think as she has a lot going on in her life and yeah. I said that's okay and haven't texted her since.
I know it's a long story but I'm just hoping that there is a slight bit of hope that she'll accept me back, what you guys think?
submitted by AnonHB_guy to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2019.11.09 18:35 IsMaithLiomPaisti101 My "friend" almost killed my best friend and wont take responsibiltiy

I wasnt there for this but yeah. This might be long. In my friend group of highly un-respectable people there is one guy we dont like. He is clingy, annoying and rats should anyone do something remotely mean even though we all abuse each other anyway. Yesterday they were messing with fire like all is lads in my area do and he put a can of deodrant in. I'm not stranger to messing with fire and deodrant and I damn near burnt my house down cause of it 2 days ago. The can exploded and gave my friend a chemical burn and was a few inches away from his you-know-what. If it hit his you-know-what the nurse told him he would be dead. The guy who put the can there, now get this, calls his mam and tells her that he had NOTHING to do with almost killing my best-friend. I've been annoyed with the guy for a long time but this is the last straw. On Monday when we are back to school me and my other friend are gonna need people holding us back from beating or even worse to the guy who almost killed my best friend. Do you guys think it is fair if we did hurt him. He almost killed my best friend and wont take the responsibilty and I'm sick of it and just want to never see hime again. What do you all think of this? I want to mangle him bad. Even though it goes against my morals it makes my blood boil and I wont stand for it.
submitted by IsMaithLiomPaisti101 to teenagers [link] [comments]


2019.10.24 18:58 stroke_bot hocking hack ait

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submitted by stroke_bot to nullthworldproblems [link] [comments]


2019.08.18 22:22 oashish I'm so conflicted about my place in this world all the time

I'm 18 Male, I suffer from depression and I think a possible eating disorder, I never want to eat even when I'm hungry I avoid it at all costs, I'm extremely skinny, weighing around 58-60kg depending on the week.
I have a girlfriend I care about and love a lot, im very clingy to her and she helps me so much but she dosent even know it, if she left I dont know what I would do with myself, I cant tell her my suicidal thoughts or how I feel when I'm alone because if she knew how depressed I can be I'd be afraid that if she ever was unhappy in the relationship she would be too afraid to end it for the sake of her own happiness in fear of what I could do to myself, I care about her happiness more then my own.
I have some amazing friends and I used to feel like I fit in but for the past couple months I've felt out of place with them, and feel like they dont want me around as much as they say they do.
I have a horrible self image, I cant even look at myself with my shirt off without thinking about killing myself, I'm also very insecure about my face, I've been called cute and handsome before but when I see it I just cant believe what they say, I have longish curly hair which my girlfriend loves but I cant see why, i never found a hairstyle i liked so now I'm just going with what she likes cus i dont think I'll ever be comfortable with it.
My family loves me a lot so much that they have driven me away from them, they never want to let me go out or visit other people, I do go out but not with their approval, my mam drives me insane, she claims I dont have a conscience and has called me a sociopath in the past before, but i know she loves me because whenever she talks about me as a child she always cries, I feel like I've failed them as a son, and all this guilt wants me to stay away from them as too not disappoint them more.
I have abused drugs in the past, after I was hit by a car two years ago I abused pain killers for months until my friend helped me out of it, after that I drank heavily and smoked weed constantly, in the past year I've abused LSD and done MDMA excessively, I landed myself in hospital from doing too many drugs and not taking care of my body (food wise) and not getting enough sleep, I collapsed in the airport in front of my family and spent the entire trip in a hospital bed and ruined the holiday for my family, none of them knew the real reason I put myself in hospital.
I'm in my final year of school before college, I hope to go to college but with my test results it dosent seem like I'm going to get anywhere near what I want, but I dont even know what I want to do, I have an interest in psychology, philosophy, music and working with children, but whenever I think about picking one of them my mind freezes up and I begin to panic, I dont know what I'm going to do with my life.
I think about suicide a lot, I'll never do it because i'm too afraid of the nothingness that comes after, I'm an atheist, so I dont have any afterlife i can hope to go too, i just want that voice in my head that tells me I'm worthless to leave, I just want to live my life with quietness in my head, not constantly thinking about what I've done wrong and what I've become.
I've been a horrible influence on my friends, my best friend was extremely innocent and was well on his way to becoming something amazing in this world but I drove him down the wrong path, the first time he ever got drunk he was with me, and since then he has landed himself in hospital due to MDMA and I've personally done ketamine and LSD and many other drugs with him, he smokes excessively but I still remember the time he wouldnt stand near me when I had a lit cigarette, he says he is happy and contempt with his life, but he dosent know the immense guilt I feel when I see him, I blame myself for introducing these aspects into his life. I love him to death and I hope we never leave eachothers lives but I dont think I'll ever forgive myself for bringing him too my level, I wish i never urged him to smoke, or try weed, he really is an amazing person but all I want is to see him be as great as the potential he has.
I'm sure after reading this you believe I'm unhappy all the time, but when I'm with my friends or my girlfriend I actually dont usually feel that bad, the happiest I've ever been was actually 2 weeks ago when I was lying in bed with my girlfriend just talking, or when I was out in town with my best friend, it's only when I'm alone I think about suicide or self harm, sometimes when I'm out with the people in my life I feel empty or lost but never sadness when im with people, this has given me a constant fear of losing people especially my girlfriend, whenever anything small goes wrong I freak out in fear she might leave even though it's only something small, this has happened with my friends aswell.
I love all the people in my life, but I dont think I'll ever love myself, I dont know what to do or think most of the time and feel like I'm just copying and learning from others what I want and what I dont want, I spend most of my time thinking about a future that i dont think I'll ever get, but my dream would be for it to come through, I just wish I wasnt so selfish and thinking about what I do wrong all the time and could actually put time to help strangers or help people.
I'm just tired of faking a smile, I dont think most of the people in my life think about my depression because I personally believe I'm very good at hiding it, when I'm with my friends for a long time, even I forget I have it until I'm left alone for a couple hours and it comes back, wish there was a solution to keep people around all the time.
I don't know why I made this post, I think I just needed to vent, I had a really hard day today.
Thanks if you read the whole post I know it was very long and I'm sorry for that.
submitted by oashish to self [link] [comments]


2018.05.05 09:39 MollyCoddle1994 He isn't going to tell you

To my ex's new girlfriend,
Found you! I'd spotted you about 2 months before I finally broke up with your new boyfriend after 5 messy years, but believed the angry retorts of me "just being a psycho as usual" at the time.
Clue number 1 to the importance of your existence to him should have been his anger towards my question, looking back. Clue number 2 was probably all the unfounded accusations I faced about other dudes. And the constant attempts to look through my phone. And being called a slut for even looking at another guy, so often I began to believe myself that I must be a cheat.
Funny how it's only when you're looking back, you spot these things.
I look at your facebook page and you look so nice and sweet and pretty, the kind of girl his Mom will fall in love with and his sisters will recruit as their own friend as if he never had a part in any of it. You look perfect.
And all I want to do is tell you to run, to get out, to please please not fall for his puppy dog eyes and his easy charm. But I can't, not without looking like the crazy ex who screams "if I can't have him, nobody can" while stabbing all the teddy bears he gave me.
He's going to tell you I was a clingy psycho who was never happy by the way. Because that's what he told me I was all the time.
He isn't going to tell you about the nights I'd to drive to get him at 4 in the morning because he rang me incessantly saying he was going to "end it all".
He isn't going to tell you that at the time my mam had cancer, I was working full time 90mins away from home and I was trying to manage my own mental health.
He isn't going to tell you that the REAL reason we broke up was because he kept saying he'd get professional help to take some pressure off of me and never did, but continued to drink at every opportunity.
He isn't going to tell you he never had money to do things with me because he drank it all away. All our quality time together in the last few months consisted of him hungover, asleep on my lap between his runs to the toilet to vomit.
He isn't going to tell you he was emotionally abusive and often deliberately cruel, witnessed by both his family and mine. His sisters have seen him laugh in my face while I have been sobbing in misery. Oh they shouted at him and they thought he was being horrible, but he just continued to laugh.
Eventually I was given the excuse that he was upset over an argument between his brother and his sister in law. Nothing to do with me but I paid the price, I played the emotional punch bag.
My Mom has burst into tears on over-hearing the way he's spoken to me over the phone. My fault for talking to him while she was near me, apparently.
I've got reams and reams of anecdotes, stories I could tell you to try make you see what kind of person he is. But I didn't believe them myself when it was happening to me, so why should you.
Despite it all, I wanted to stay, to help and love and appreciate this guy for all his good and his bad, because I know when he smiles at you that way, you feel like the only girl in the universe.
It's taken me a long time to come to believe that the way he treated me was not my fault. I gave that dude everything I had in me, and then some, and still blamed myself on the last day as he screamed in my face for asking (no, begging) him to please see a counsellor, his doctor, anyone who can help take his pain away so he'd stop inflicting it in turn on me.
Getting over it is a process and seeing you with him last weekend was a kick in the gut I wasn't expecting. I've written and rewritten messages to him, begging, pleading, and threatening him not to treat you the way he treated me.
But it will come to nothing. I'll be brushed and laughed off as the bitter ex who still wants to be with him and can't let it go. His ego will swell with the idea of his ex still caring about it while he lives a happier life with a prettier girl.
I can't express my true concerns without looking like a weak and needy person.
So I just worry quietly and hope you have a stronger sense of self than I did. I breathe a sigh of relief and crack a huge smile at least once a day that I'm out of his stifling grip.
And maybe it was all my fault in the end. I hope so, for your sake.
Molly
submitted by MollyCoddle1994 to UnsentLetters [link] [comments]


2017.06.22 00:41 SBDD 3 months out, LPT and things used, plus Baby/belly tax!

Every month that's gone by I've said I'd sit down and do this but now I'm back at work and actually have the free time to actually do it-- working is much easier than being a stay at home mom!
I am 3 months and 1 day post partum and I just felt like popping in to my favorite subreddit and sharing some tips and things a few months out. I know I have a lifetime of things to learn but this is a list of some of the things I have learned.
I gave birth on March 20th, 41 weeks pregnant, at 4:59 PM after 19 hours of labor, two and a half hours of pushing, and on the day of my scheduled induction. She weighed a hefty 9 lbs 15 oz and I tore pretty badly though they didn't tell me what degree.
GOING INTO AND DURING LABOR
  1. STAY ACTIVE I had been having false labor for a few days, but was told I was "high and closed". Things I did (who knows if it helps): bounced on a exercise ball, walked my neighborhood, walked around costco, ate 6 figs a day for the last 6 weeks of pregnancy.
  2. BE PREPARED If you have a lot of fluid like I did, it is difficult to get in the car and into the hospital. I made a diaper out of a bath towel and then lined my passenger seat with two towels and trash bags underneath. No amniotic fluid in the car! But changing into the hospital gown in the bathroom while gushing warm amniotic fluid was one of my least favorite experiences.
  3. FIND YOUR HAPPY PLACE Someone wrote in their birth story to take your pain and put it in an imaginary jar on a shelf. I brought my bluetooth speaker to the delivery room and played music that calmed me down or amped me up, whichever I needed. I also brought my own labor gown because I wanted to feel comfortable. I highly recommend this one
GIVING BIRTH
  1. EPIDURAL IS LIFE I managed 5 cm on my own and that included screaming, shaking and vomiting. I let my nurse know that 5 cm was my goal and when I was close and began to lose it mentally, she was the one who recommended I ask for it. My line was placed quickly and painlessly and I was able to fall asleep and basically slept until I was 10 cm dilated. It was magical.
  2. PUSH LIKE YOU'RE POOPING My nurse had me hold my breath and push, 3 times, 10 seconds each time, during each contraction. My first push tended to be poor but the second and third were effective. It's like pooping but all the pressure is on your vagina. I had one little poop nugget and it was scooped up before I knew it.
  3. ASK FOR THE MIRROR After two hours of pushing I was exhausted and close to quitting. My baby had a full head of hair and the nurse suggested I use the mirror to see. Looking down and seeing her hairy little head RIGHT THERE really motivated me for the final stretch.
  4. SURPRISE FINGER UP THE BUTT Ok so I have no idea how common this was but when I was really close to delivering, they called the doctor in. My contractions suddenly slowed down and it felt like this baby was never coming out. I need some final uumph to get the baby's head and shoulder out and my old school OBGYN surprised me with a finger up my butt while I was pushing. It caught me so off guard that my whole body reacted and that's how I delivered my baby!! So just want to warn you that might happen!
POSTPARTUM RECOVERY
  1. THEY GIVE YOU PADISCLES I'm not the crafty type to make my own things so I was relieved when the nurse hooked me up with padsicles at the hospital. It went like this: mesh diaper, two maxi pads, an ice pack, and witch hazel wipes. I wore this for the first week in the hospital. Then I switched to incontinence diapers, which were way more convenient since I could just throw them away. I recommend Always Discreet.
  2. ASK FOR THE LACTATION CONSULTANT So I gave birth around 5 pm, got into my recovery room around 8 pm, and asked for the lactation consultant straight away. They didn't arrive until 9 am the next morning, so that was 12 hours of breastfeeding on my own. My baby latched right away and I wasn't having specific problems and speaking with them still really helped me.
  3. TAKE CARE OF YOUR NIPPLES Even with a baby who latched well, your nipples get shredded in the first two weeks. I wish I hadn't waited as long as I did to start applying something to them. I highly recommend Mama's Nipple Butter and Lansinoh Soothies. And don't worry, it does eventually stop hurting. But the first 2-3 weeks are awful.
THINGS FOR YOU
  1. NURSING CLOTHES For the first few weeks all you will do is sleep (or not) and nurse. When you do leave the house, you will feel trapped if you don't have the appropriate clothing. I would recommend: 2-3 nighttime nursing bras, 1-2 daytime nursing bras, several nursing camis, and some nursing tops (Brands on Amazon I recommend: Milk nursing wear and Bearsland. Also H&M has a great line of maternity/nursing clothes called MAMA). After a few weeks, your anxiety will go away and you'll realize any top can be a nursing top, but I had a full on breakdown my first week trying to leave the house.
  2. NURSING PADS AND A COVER I'm all for breastfeeding in public but at the beginning when you're still having to position your breast for them and push it into their mouth and with it hurting, it can be really awkward. I got this cheap cover on amazon and I've been happy with it. Also you will leak everytime your milk lets down, so if you don't want stains or milk filled bras, you'll need a ton of nursing pads. They also make reusable/washable ones but I need 4 pads a day and I just didn't want to be doing that much laundry.
  3. MATERNITY UNDERWEAR So I've always been a thong girl but with my painful stitches I haven't been able to wear those. I went out and bought granny panties but those ended up cutting me really awkwardly right where my extra skin hangs down and I hated it. I got these off amazon and I adore them. Super comfortable. You'll have to wear a pad for at least 3 weeks while your lochia is shedding. I think I finally stopped wearing any sort of liner around 6 weeks.
  4. DONUT PILLOW This was essential for my stitches to heal (it was only $15 at my hospital pharmacy). I went from crying daily in pain from sitting to immediate pain relief and healing. I am still using this on certain chairs 3 months later. If you have bad tearing please take care of yourself.
THINGS FOR BABY EVERY BABY IS DIFFERENT. WHAT WORKED FOR MINE MIGHT NOT WORK FOR YOURS.
  1. NURSING PILLOW: MY BREAST FRIEND This was essential to me at the beginning. We have both the boppy and the breast friend and breast friend was the winner, hands down. Every time the baby ate, I would strap it on. It's the perfect size for a newborn. Your boob pretty much rests flat while they eat and you can be essentially hands free (which is critical when you are feeding 12 hours a day).
  2. BABY APPs I have several apps that I have found essential with my baby. During the first week I used the MyMedela Breastfeeding app. It made it really easy to track how often the baby fed and on which breast you finished last. Those first few days are a blur of breastfeeding and the doctor will ask you at your first appointment, so for me this was critical. I had used the BabyCenter Pregnancy app while pregnant and I switched to their Baby+ app once she was born. It lets you keep track of all their milestones and acheivements, along with their measurements. It also has this awesome Face a Day tracker where you upload a face a day and it aligns the eyes for you and makes an amazing video montage that makes me cry every time. They also have white noise and lullabies built in and the Hair Dryer white noise puts my baby to sleep right away. Finally, if you haven't heard of the Wonder Weeks theory about infant mental development and how it relates to their mood, start reading. There is an app to go with it where you enter your baby's due date and it warns you when your baby is approaching a Leap, or new mental development stage, and can predict if your baby will be fussy. Everytime my sweet baby disappears and I'm left with a clingy, crying infant, I check the chart and sure enough, she's entering a new Leap.
  3. EASY SWADDLES Let's face it, swaddling is a necessary evil. I don't know if we were stupid or what but my husband and I could never swaddle our baby tight enough using just the blankets. She's big and strong and required a double swaddle in the hospital. Enter the Halo Sleep Sack, you literally just zip and velcro and I found these much easier than the SwaddleMe swaddles. When she hit ~8 weeks and started chewing on her hands, we found the Love to Dream Swaddle UP Lite which is perfect for the summer months. Plus it makes her look like an adorable starfish.
  4. WEIGHTED WIPE DISPENSER Ok hear me out-- at $20 I understand this item is a complete luxury item but it is $20 I would spend over and over and over again. One of the most annoying things in the world is when your baby has a huge blowout and you're holding their legs up and you try to get one wipe but instead you get seven and you're standing there shaking the wipes like a madwoman while your poop covered baby wiggles all over. This thing has a weight on it so you get one perfect wipe at a time. They also have a to go version. For me it is a must have!
  5. Baby sleeper There are many of these out there but we personally loved the By your side sleeper. The baby just sleeps all day and while you hold them a lot it's nice to put them down and have a safe place to put them. We would have this on the couch, on our bed, anywhere. Also bonus is it fits inside a traditional bassinet so sometimes she would fall asleep on the couch in this and we could literally carry her to our bed or the bassinet and she'd stay asleep!
  6. WHATEVER BOTTLES YOUR BABY TAKES Ok so bottle feeding was a big stresser for us since we knew I'd be going back to work. My baby is an amazing breastfeeder with a really strong suck and she'd use her tongue to just push around most nipples. I went through several brands (Dr. Browns, Nuk, Medela, Philips Avent, BreastFlow) until I found THE ONE-- MAM Feed & Soothe. My baby latched immediately at 7 weeks old. She also didn't use a pacifier until she figured out how to suck on these bottles. We are extremely thankful to MAM as she's at home bottlefeeding as I type this.
  7. CARSEAT COVER I didn't find this product until last week and I absolutely love it. Up until then I would just use a swaddle blanket. But the heat has been really intense and I wanted to protect her from the UV rays. I don't like the other carseat covers that wrap up the carseat and this is great because it opens in the front. Then when you're not using it it rolls up into the carseat handle and the handle is a cushion. 10/10 would recommend
  8. BABY WRAP Essential for when they're little, we preferred the Moby wrap over the Boba.
  9. Baby Carrier My baby outgrew the wrap pretty quickly because she's so big and we've been really happy with the Ergo 4 in 1
  10. CONTAINMENT ZONES When you are home alone with baby you will need multiple seats, chairs etc where you can put baby down and they can be happy/entertained. My baby's favorites are her bouncy chair and her froggy chair
Ok this is long enough now. I am an open book so feel free to ask away. Having a baby was amazing but I had kind of a unicorn pregnancy and birth. That being said, my stitches still hurt 3 months later, I have stretch marks covering my belly, back, ass and thighs and a huge flap of excess skin. My belly button still sticks out and I'm still wearing maternity clothes. My uterus didn't really shrink until I was about 10 weeks PP. But I would do it all again for this little one. Baby tax!
submitted by SBDD to BabyBumps [link] [comments]


2014.09.19 17:58 AmyRiddell Me [19F] with my boyfriend [21M], a year and a half. Having a bit of a moral dilemma. Am I a bad person for having second thoughts about a LDR with a difficult/possible Asperger's partner?

It started out well, I think. I remember he was always a bit awkward socially, had a hard time recognising flirtatious signals or giving them off. Was also very clingy from the beginning, and freaked out when I went on a date despite the fact that we weren't even together, or even dating at this point. Was very close to his mother- a little too close. Didn't want to meet my friends, hid in the corner and fidgeted whenever I was talking to my parents at my house. But I just put that down to the fact that he was shy.
Fast forward to about 9 months ago. He starts getting a bit weird. He goes ballistic when I don't review my university choices with him as I'm making them (I'm a bit of a lone wolf - I like doing things independently when they're important to my life and don't see why I should discuss this with a boyfriend and wait for his approval). He goes even more ballistic when he realises that the university I've picked is pretty far away. Again, for context, he's incredibly clingy and codependent. He texts me all day every day, and freaks out if I don't reply instantly - this happens when I'm studying, in lessons at 6th form, out with friends and family, and it's even happened during exams. He would demand that I see him for at least 3 days a week, ultimately forbidding me from seeing my friends who are only ever free on the weekends. And if I'd break the routine to see them, even for one day, he'd go out of his way to cause a fight over text and would deliberately upset me and then accuse me of not caring about him enough.
He wouldn't just 'freak out' like a regular person would, either. He has proper temper tantrums, where he yells at me, literally can't speak coherently because he's so blind with rage, and curls up in a ball on the floor or the bed. He would make a point of not actually speaking to me, but would also make loud whining noises, breathe heavily, pretend to cry, and stare at me for 5-10 minutes at a time to ensure that my attention couldn't be on anything else but him.
He can't accept responsibility either. If he throws a temper tantrum, it's my fault. Even if I actually didn't cause it. He failed one of his exams because he literally didn't study for it, he blamed me. He poured cold water over my bare back because I refused to sleep naked in his living room while 3 other men were in there, he sat next to me while I shivered and told me it was my fault because I was horrible to him (refusing to show other men my breasts is horrible, apparently). I have to point blank explain why something he did was inppropriate, and have to remind him that the appropriate response when doing something wrong is an apology. He can't do it unless I tell him. And then of course he continues to have a go at me for 'treating him like a child.' I can't help that - childish and simple language is the only thing he can process. He can't read complex sentences, for example. He'll take the first half but not the second. Which causes a LOT of fights. But if I speak simply, he says I'm a bully.
He doesn't seem to understand social cues at all. I have to explain to him when I'm being sarcastic or telling a joke, and even then he doesn't believe me. On the rare 3 occasions I've managed to persuade him to be introduced to my friends, he's followed me around silently, complaining that he wants to go home. If I had to go to the toilet, he'd stand and wait until I come back without speaking to anyone else.
Conversations are also very difficult. If he gets onto something, he'll go on and on and on about it. Take space, for example. I'm not interested in it and he knows it, but he'll gladly spurt out a 20 minute monologue. He doesn't notice when I'm not interested, and gets offended when I ask to talk about something else. And whenever I try to get involved in the conversation he cuts me off completely or aggressively tries to make out like I'm stupid and wrong. Even if I'm actually factually correct, he will go as far as an argument just because he doesn't want to change his mind on something.
One of the worst instances of him not understanding inapropriate behaviour was when another girl asked him on a date and sent him flowers. He declined the date (after using it as a weapon against me in an argument, saying he'd go on the date just to spite me) but then put the flowers in a vase in the kitchen. They were lillies, so they STANK. When he revealed that they were the flowers from the girl, I voiced that it made me uncomfortable to have to look at and smell flowers from another girl, and that it was somewhat insensitive of him to have them on display while I was around. He asked if I would prefer it if they weren't there, and I said that I would prefer that, so they were binned. However, he went into a mood, curled up in a ball, and accused me of being nasty and horrible. When I asked why, he said that those flowers were 'special' to him. He had absolutely no idea why that upset me.
In short, it feels like I'm looking after a snot nosed five year old. He needs his mam for EVERYTHING, calling her at least once a day, and tells her incredibly inapropriate personal things about our relationship without asking me or attempting to understand why it makes me uncomfortable. And when mammy isn't around to wipe his tears, he turns to me. He expects me to comfort him and spoon feed him in everything. When he has a cold, when he's been to work, when he's just upset because he feels like being upset. I wouldn't mind if he just said 'Oh, I've had a bad day at work today, I don't feel too well.' I'm pretty nice generally, and I'd gladly support him in any problems he has. But he seems to think that 'support' is constant spoon feeding, even if he repeats the same message multiple times (which he often does, which means I find it very difficult to hold a conversation with him over text). He treats me like I'm a surrogate mother, and I'm exhausted. I don't want to look after a grown man - I'm about to move 400 miles away from home, and start a demanding university course in a place where I don't know anybody. I don't have the time to babysit a 21 year old man because he doesn't like working for his money or not being able to cry to his girlfriend all day because she has a life outside the relationship.
I know I probably sound callous and awful for saying that, and for thinking that he could have Asperger's. But I can't think of any other explanation for the demand for routine, the inability to change his mind, the social difficulties, the inability to understand how other people are feeling... He's too frightened to go to a doctor, or even do a simple Asperger's test online. I don't know if that's because he's too stubborn, or too scared of the 'autistic' label. All I know is that most people tend not to have a problem with taking online tests, and don't threaten to break up with a long term partner over it.
Which is what brings me to the end of this long, whiny post. Like I said, I'm moving very far away, and he's worse over text than he is in person; more demanding, more clingy, more likely to get angry or upset and way more difficult to calm down. He also has a pretty serious difficulty understanding my texts. Often our fights are because he's misread something I've said and got upset over it, and it'll take me hours to finally get the intended message to process. This usually happens once or twice a week. I just don't think I can handle it when I go away - I already took a year out before starting university for personal reasons, I don't want to throw it away because I'm having to spend the night before my final exam consoling my boyfriend because I couldn't Skype that one night due to having 8 assignments and a dissertation due in.
Despite everything I've said in this post, I do care about him. I do love him. But he's my boyfriend, not my toddler. And the thought of leaving someone over something they may not be able to control makes me feel like I'm evil and selfish (and he has no qualms telling me that himself, which makes me feel even worse.)
What do I do, guys? Take my life into my own hands and try to forget the guilt, or stop being a selfish asshole and look after a vulnerable loved one?
tl;dr: Boyfriend either has Asperger's or is just a total asshole who doesn't care about anything but himself and treats me like a carer. I feel like an asshole for considering ending the relationship before I go to uni and potentially wreck my future by looking after him.
submitted by AmyRiddell to relationships [link] [comments]


2014.09.12 13:41 Nichard I should be so happy

To everyone who knows me, my life is ideal. I'm 25, female and I'm married to an amazing man whom I love dearly, we have a lovely house/home, lovely little dog, both have great jobs, have lots of lovely things and we go on a couple of holidays a year with mini breaks inbetween. I lost my mam last year to cancer and I have never felt happy or excited by anything ever since. I have no interest in doing anything and I'm very clingy and needy with my husband. He is amazing and he helps me and listens to me whenever I'm feeling really sad and need a good cry, I can't fault him at all. I'm extremely happy in our relationship and wouldn't change it for the world but I miss my mam so so much, she was my best friend and I nursed her right until the end. I can't seem to get over not seeing her anymore or hearing her voice. I have had counselling but I didn't go back after 2 sessions because I didn't feel ready.
Tl;tr I have a great life with my loving husband but I can't get over the death of my mam last year and it's making me so depressed :-(
submitted by Nichard to offmychest [link] [comments]


2013.04.07 18:09 Refhgarad Got my toddler back on the soother :(

I feel like a bad mammy right now. My son used a soother, pacifier, dodi whatever you wanna call it when he was a baby. He lost interest in it a about 9 months old and hadn't used one since. Then a few weeks ago he was teething really bad with his back teeth..had a fever of 103 and all. I had a soother just in a drawer in his bedroom from ages ago and during the night when he was unwell i gave it to him and it settled him immediately.
Fast forward to last week, I was experiencing a missed miscarriage and was in hospital for a d&c. My mam took Daragh for 2 nights so I could get some rest. This upset him so much..he's been so clingy since and he won't go down at bedtime when it used to be no problem. With the way I was feeling and with him crying for 2 hours because he didn't want me to leave his room I caved and gave him the soother to calm him. It's be 4 days since that and now he asks for it going to bed.
What can I do to try and stop him wanting it or should I just let him have it for the meantime seen as he needs the comfort? Has anyone else been in this kind of situation?
submitted by Refhgarad to Mommit [link] [comments]


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